The big picture

If you are reading this then you must have decided that you would like to make some changes to enjoy a better life.  The good news is that we all have it within us to live that better life.  We may not all end up multi-millionaires with vacation homes in three states, but we can enjoy lives without financial and emotional stress.  You can make changes so that you are proud of what you have achieved (and others are proud of you), and you can wake up looking forward to what the day brings.

Enjoy the journey

The journey to this new life is not short, and it may not be easy, but it is an important journey.  If you plan correctly then the journey can itself be rewarding.

You need to change

There are a number of transitions that you will need to make if you wish to shake-off your current life-style for your desired life-style.  Remember, if you keep doing the same things and expect a different result, then you are fooling yourself.

But the first thing you have to do is believe.  If you don’t believe that you can reach your goal then you will never make that goal.  You should not hope to reach your goal.  You should not make a wish.  You have to get it into your head right now that there is no doubt that you will reach your goal; it is just a matter of time.

How much time?

This is where a lot of people fail.  They are impatient.  If you think you can buy a self-help product, feel good about yourself for a little while and then all the good things will come, then I am afraid you are kidding yourself.  People often kid themselves because reality can be harsh.

What were you doing a month ago?  What were you doing a year ago?  What about five years ago?  Does it seem like long ago?  Don’t you wish you had made some changes back then?

Well, stop thinking of the past!  Think about the future.  In a month, or a year, or maybe five years, you could be living a very different life.  And between now and then you will be living a very different life; full of enthusiasm and purpose.  You will get out of bed with a new attitude.

No, nothing worth achieving will happen quickly, not without some effort.

But where do you want to be in a year?  Do you want to be living a new life, or do you want to be living with the same regret you feel right now that you still have not done anything about your problems.

Looking back is pointless

One more point.  You may often wish that you had made changes earlier.  You may wish you had invested your money in a certain stock, or started your dream business, or started dieting, or enrolled in a course, etc.  Snap out of it!  You can’t do anything about the past.  It’s done.  It’s over.  Just look to the future.  Think about what your future could be.

What date is it today?  One day you will look back on this day.  Will you look back with regret, wishing that you had made a change?  Or will you look back with pride and remember fondly that that was the day you started your journey.

But it will be hard!

I am an engineer.  Every invention, every construction – everything – took hard work.  You may not have seen the hard work; but someone decided that something could be achieved and they set out and made it happen.  You can be sure that in the majority of cases they ran up against problems that seemed impassable.  You can be sure that other people told them that it could not be done, it should not be done, and they may have even said that the inventor or engineer was not up to the task.

But people who succeed get past all of the road blocks.  They see failures as temporary; just another step towards their success.

Make a decision

It is easy to get excited about doing something.  You can watch motivational videos about people who have overcome great obstacles and have achieved great things and then pump your fist in the air and say “yes, if they can do it, I can do it too!”

But if you then turn on the TV and fade off into zombie land, or grab a packet of chips and start eating, or think about your work and say “I’ll get to that tomorrow”, then you have failed at the first hurdle.

Sorry, but tomorrow is not soon enough.  “Good enough”, and “I’ll get to that soon” are phrases that you have to forget.

For people who succeed, in business, in relationships, in weight loss – whatever – people who succeed don’t put it off.  They get it done.  They break the “inertia” that holds every physical object in place, and they build momentum, the physical force that keeps things moving.

Success is addictive

The great news is that when you get that spark to make a change, and you start actually making changes, your whole attitude will change.  It is quite amazing.  You really do feel empowered.  And when you start seeing the results of your hard work; a smile from the person you love, your first order from your new business, some weight loss – look out.  The feeling is wonderful.

What are you going to do about it?

Sorry – it is decision time.  Are you going to turn on the TV?  Are you going to play on the Internet?  Are you going to reach for some “comfort” food?  Are you going to put off the effort that you know is required?

Or are you going to take action?

I want to take action!

OK, you may be wondering what action to take.  That all depends on what you are hoping to achieve.

I want to lose weight

Losing weight is easy.  No really, it is.  Our body is a machine.  When a machine performs an activity it uses energy.  Our food provides that energy.  But if the energy our body uses is less than the energy supplied to it, then it stores the energy for later – that’s the fat on your hips and everywhere else.

So, you need to burn more energy and consume less energy.  Yes, there is more to it than that, and we discuss it in greater detail on this site.

The fact is that, for most of us, weight loss depends upon your state of mind.  If you feel happy and confident and motivated then you will eat less.  Once you break your inertia and exercise a little, you will eat less, and build momentum to exercise more.

(I am not a perfect specimen of a human being, but I weigh 88 kg or 194 pounds and I am 190 cm or 6’3”.  I am reasonably fit thanks to running, walking and surfing.  I have a massive sweet tooth and I love chips and other deadly food.)

I want a better relationship

Building a better relationship is easy; for the most part.  If you focus on making your loved one the most important person in the world, and you do everything to make that person happy, then the relationship has the best chance of working.

It may work out that you are incompatible, but I believe that in 90% of cases it is more to do with how you interact with a person than whether you are “compatible”.

If you want to make the relationship work, and you are patient, and you are willing to swallow your pride occasionally, and you are willing to do what you can to give that person the love, support and security that every human needs, then the relationship will work.

Yes, there are complications and details, and we discuss that elsewhere on the site.

(I have been in a very happy relationship with my wife since 1980.  I have two wonderful boys who, even though they are in their teenage years, are mature, confident, and intelligent.)

I want to run a successful business

Running a successful business is not easy.  But it does have some simple principles.  You need to supply a product or service that people want to pay for.  The service/product has to be excellent and the price has to be right.  You have to do everything possible to make your customer happy – even if that means not selling them your product, or selling them a cheaper product.  Happy customers buy from you in the future and tell other people about your products/service (unhappy people tell even more people why they are unhappy.)  Your potential customers need to know the product/service exists, and they need to be encouraged to buy it – now!

Starting a business and running a business is not easy, it will require some hard work and courageous decisions – and actions.  But as far as I am concerned there is nothing more rewarding.

(Right now I run four businesses.  I have been running my own business for all but 8 years since 1984 when I left university.  I have sold one business (and received many offers for my main business), and won multiple export awards and product awards.  Right now my main business operates in 50 countries and we have customers from 90 countries.  Our customers range from the largest companies in the world, to small “Mom and Pop” businesses.)

I want to earn more money at work

In many parts of the world, with the global economic crisis, keeping a job may be more of a challenge than being promoted or earning more money.  But the solution to both challenges is the same – make yourself invaluable.

To borrow the old Army saying, you have to be the best you can be.  You have to be what the business needs you to be.  And to do well, you should be doing a job that you want to do.

In every business there is a need for employees who just turn up for work, do what they have to do, and go home.  But those employees should not expect a rapid rise in position or salary.

If you want to earn more – that can’t be you.

So many people complain about their boss, or the work environment, or the lack of opportunity, or the missed opportunities.  Don’t look for excuses, look at yourself!  While some pretty bad things happen in some workplaces, for the most part you must take responsibility for the failures you have experienced.  And you have to take responsibility for turning around your fate.

Remember, your boss does not want a complainer or a whiner – he/she does not want to hear about problems; he/she wants to hear about solutions!  Your boss does not want to have to remind you to get work done, or hear excuses why work is not complete – they want to see that you have done it even better than they had hoped.

If you constantly impress them they will notice.

We discuss this in greater detail in the section dedicated to the topic, but seriously, I don’t care what your excuse is; there is a solution, and if you want to be happier then you have to be willing to make positive changes.

(I have only been an employee for eight years, so to be honest I don’t have a HUGE amount of experience trying to impress a boss.  However, while I was an employee myself I also had staff reporting to me.  And in my business I have staff working for me. )

Are you ready to take action?

I would argue that if you want to be happy you need to take care of your personal relationship, your health/weight, and your financial situation.  It may be that one of these issues is weighing heaviest on your mind right now, but the end goal needs to be to have all three under control.

But you need to get your head right before you try to do anything.  You can rush headlong into your various challenges, but I think you need to get your mind around the resonance phenomenon and always think back to the three principles that drive success: get into resonance, reduce damping, and make an effort!

As I have already said, you can’t solve these problems by just thinking about it.  You need a plan of action, and you need to take action.

Feel free to go directly to the sections on weight loss, relationship building, running a business, and improving your financial situation at work.  I personally believe that it will help you to have an idea about resonance in your mind.  All of these problems above will take a plan and an effort to make them work.  But as described in the resonance section, there are a number of “engineering” principles related to resonance, inertia, momentum, and resistance (damping and friction) that will make a lot of this make more sense.

Click on one of these links:

Get your mind into gear

Understanding resonance

Living in resonance

Reducing resistance

The success paradigm

Taking action:

Reducing weight and being healthy

Building a loving, long term relationship

Running a successful business

Earning more money and satisfaction at work